I seldom go to the amusement park. As far as I remember, I haven’t ridden a Merry-go-round before. It seems to be an unbelievable fact, but it is true. It is a dream place in my heart, though.

In my imagination, I think the best part of riding a Merry-go-round is that for a time I can be lifted up from the ground and rotate with the music. If someone is watching me, that means every time I turn around I can see the person. Within the limited time, I may have some times of eye contact with that person, isn’t it wonderful. As long as I am certain that the person will not disappear, then it is worth of a thousand time of riding.

I remembered a scene that I saw in a drama. A bad person invited a little girl to the amusement park and asked the little girl to ride the Merry-go round. The little girl was so excited and so sure that the person would wait for her at the same place. However, after some rounds of riding, the little girl couldn’t find the person anymore. Before the music stop, the little girl cannot go down by herself, so for the rest of the riding time, the little girl was just crying out of disappointment and fear. For each turn around, it wasn’t the big smile that was waiting for her, but emptiness. Music was no longer euphonious, the crowd between her was no longer friendly, and everything in the amusement park turned to something evil. When she went down the Merry-go-round, she couldn’t believe this dream place anymore. The little girl didn’t know why the person chose this place to abandon her, he could have chosen a normal street or just left without any lie, but why. Why the person needed to tell a lie for the purpose of leaving her behind.

This was an extremely sad scene in my memory for a long time. Merry-go-round is a place that evil can happen as well. Not all the fantasy is the real fantasy. Not all the word from the person that you believe is believable.

Almost all of the facilities in the amusement park is built for joy. One can shout, can yell, can smile during the playing time. However, some sad stories happen in this amusement park as well. Maybe from someone’s point of view, these sadness or disappointment will fade away very quickly since the amusing place will urge a sad person to be happy. All of the excitement and fantasy will dilute the pain. But it won’t. The experience of being abandoned may cast a shadow in one’s lifetime. He/she may not have the courage to go to the amusement park once again, and the Merry-go-round is the embodiment of lie. It is pathetic.

What I wrote is the remark for the scene that I remember. I shall find a time to try the Merry-go-round and think about the taste of being abandoned in such a beautiful place. I think it takes courage to leave a place with tears and desperation. Not everyone can bear this.

That is a song called “Merry-go-round” from 中島みゆき. When I hear it, I thought the Merry-go-round is spinning around me. How joyful~