A warm and harmonious afternoon, which is hard to believe, because in the morning it was chilly cold and I felt like I was having a headache walking down the street. I thought I need to wear a scarf immediately, so I went to Muji, unfortunately the color is not my favorite one.
Today we had lunch with our client which was also a thankful lunch to my colleagues as it is almost their last working day. I don’t want to repeat this but it is not good to feel being alone. Even my boss is leaving this month and I didn’t know this until Spring Festival was ended. It was shocking to me.
It took me so much time to adapt to this change, and sometimes I feel a little sad. I would have no one to talk to when I encounter anything, either good or not good. Sometimes I feel I am “doomed”to be alone.
The lunch place is in the building where client’s office is located. I once worked there for a few months. I loved there because every time I went down to the 4th floor, I could find a bookstore. It is rare to find such a big bookstore in CBD area like that. I remembered there is a window which the view is beautiful. When the trees are blooming, they turn to pink. Soft pink, like spring’s color. There was a time that I took a nap besides the window, my colleague took a photo for me. It was good and I was impressed. I need to find out where the photo is.
No matter who leaves me, I will remember the time that we have shared. Not all the moments are beautiful moments, but they are part of my memory. How can I erase them without time’s effort. Maybe it would be one month, half a year, or longer. I don’t know. Maybe I won’t remember at all as long as we won’t see again, which is absolutely possible.
Sometimes I feel so isolated to the real world, like today, I walked into a CBD building which I haven’t been to for a long time. It seems new to me. It was like I haven’t been here before. However, the long stair in the first floor refreshed my memory. I used to walk up/down the long stair to consume strength. There is an enormous screen in front of it showing the most shining advertisement.
I cried a little while I am writing now. But I am not so frustrated. Crying is just my way to release those feelings that I can’t express well. Maybe crying is a way to forget.
Before lunch, I took some coffee and read a little, I felt relaxing and a fulfillment of joyfulness which a book can always give me. A kind of peacefulness. They are good companions, no matter where I am.
Time flies and I am growing with time. If time is a beautiful and splendid garden, hope that I could be its gardener, smiling to the sun and the moon.
My little thing of my little heart.
